Yin/Yang

According to Wikipedia, "Yin yang are complementary opposites within a greater whole. Everything has both yin and yang aspects, although yin or yang elements may manifest more strongly in different objects or at different times. Yin yang constantly interacts, never existing in absolute stasis."

I can't think of a better way to describe what Sophie seems to be experiencing lately. On the one hand, she is embracing many new opportunities and experiences that come alongside a child who is about to turn 5. Despite her occasional passivity towards school and learning, she really does get excited about doing her homework each afternoon, and about her steady improvement at reading in writing.

The other day, she read "Chester the Horse" to Jack before his nap. Although I cut her off about half way through due to the length of the book, I was internally doing cartwheels over the fact that she was actually reading. This was not a book that she had recently looked at with us, so it confirmed for me that she really has come leaps and bounds this year since starting pre-K. While she's been able to sound out words and sentences for a long time, this was completely different. Watching Jack respond to his big sister reading made it all the better.

On the flip side, Sophie has been especially emotional about her increasing age and the fact that her baby years are long gone. Watching Jack's crib (which was originally hers) be taken out of his room proved to be hard for her. She loves to flip through photo albums from her early years, and she even has a picture of herself at about 8 weeks on her dresser which has caused her to shed tears more than once as she reflects during her quiet time.

At first Eric and I had a hard time taking this seriously, but it has clearly become a consistent discussion with her and we are at times confused as to how we should deal with this. We are careful to acknowledge all of the wonderful things about her age as she grows older - all of the things she can do that babies can't. Like chew bubblegum, and have a conversation with friends and family, sit in a booster seat, read a book to her little brother and even take a shower independently. But we would be lying if we said there isn't a piece of us that wishes it would slow down just a tiny bit!

Perhaps this is just a phase and she will overcome this fixation on babyhood, but until then, I can assure you that this phase is indeed real with the below picture. As we cleaned out the drawer ofblankets and crib sheets underneath Jack's crib, we came across a knit newborn hat. We have no idea which child this belonged to, but Sophie immediately scooped it up, supposedly for her doll "Huggums" to wear. After returning home from an evening out (a Kindergarten Open House of all places), this is what we walked in on after Sophie was sound asleep...


I suppose that each of us can relate to this Yin/Yang aspect of growing up and/or growing older. As a parent, I certainly feel the bittersweet emotions each day as I feel relief for where we are now with the increasing independence, interaction and ability to reason that I see in my children - which truly brings more ease to the day than in times past. But I do feel a longing for those precious early days, which were impossible to always appreciate in the moment.

Living "in the moment" is always a challenge, which is apparently true even for almost 5 year olds.